I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
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