ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I think I have vodka in my lungs
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
