he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
