...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
i just google imaged poop.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize