You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
