You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
