So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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