But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
