why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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