Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
