Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
