Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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