So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize