i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
