So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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