im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Randomize
