Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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