I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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