I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Randomize
