where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
