and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
