last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
