I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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