I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
