so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
