office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
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