And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Randomize
