So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
