apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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