No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
