Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
