I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Randomize
