Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
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