Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
We have so much sex to catch up on
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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