So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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