I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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