so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
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