So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
They should really pass out barf bags in church
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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