I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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