Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
