She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
