You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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