The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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