wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
i drank out of a bidet.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
