I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
