you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
he puts the penis in happiness.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Brb crying the tears of my youth
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
