it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize