He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
