who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
