WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
So here I am, sexting at work.
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