Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
