so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I am midnight drunk by noon
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
