i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
