she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I enjoy the company of your penis
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
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