How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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