just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
