how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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