You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
