you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
