after a month anything with tits is on the radar
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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