yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
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