is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Terrible idea I love it
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
