I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
